did you click on my blog expecting “jokes”?? Fool. I am the joke
news flash: bbc finally does something right
Listen up college kiddies that think your drunken escapades don’t matter!
Ooh, and bonus Colin Salmon.
I didn’t want to go to an engagement party, so I was asked to babysit my sister’s ridiculous dog instead.
you’ve made the right choice
do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do
Bop it, Twist it, Pull it, Spin it, Flick it.
Obviously reblogging for the second picture
Right. Don’t sound like it. (x)
Every time I see a GIF of the new doctor talking about being Scottish, this skit pops into my head, haha
speaking of remixes
have y’all heard nicki and bey on run the world tho?
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..
..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.
this baby lookin like a full grown adult and it’s fuckin me up
She looks like Cleopatra or something brought into the future. Powerful stare like, “All the Ceasar’s be fallin’ for me.”
OMG that second gif makes me feel like she just declared war and we’re all gonna die and I’m totally ok with that
Why is it when I see a white girl with a tattoo on her thigh i think sexy? But a Latina I think ghettos as fuck?
because youre racist
its torture white people dont know how great they have it
Page 2 of 5607