My neighbours cat likes making me late for my school bus (also excuse my gross wheezing of a laughter„)
Mozzarella does her best impression of a sausage.
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
nobody tell them
take no shit 2014
I still want to bulk buy these and adonize batch pink.
Apart from being super cool - which it definitely is - the serrated side cuts through braided rope, and though I haven’t seen it in person I’d be willing to bet money the smallest (“flat phillips”) screwdriver picks handcuffs.
Ladies, this is an escape tool.
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
The first time i saw this vine, i laughed so hard.
YESSS MY FAVORITE!!!!
I ALMOST SHOVED MY COMPUTER OFF MY DESK OH GOD
I said that this couldn’t be that great.
I was so wrong.
i just screamed
me as a parent
back from Malificent
Malificent’s raven was a cutest bbysitter
Sometimes you just feel the need to see your favorite character breathing heavily and covered in blood
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